A Dollar's Worth Of Bread And Some Fancy Cheese

     Walmart sells baguettes a dollar a piece. Something I find amazing because baguettes are delicious and are a lot of bread for a dollar. There's also this really delicious fancy cheese that Walmart sells, its got almond and bacon crumbs on the exterior and the sharpest cheddar you'll ever taste. Some might not think of this as a meal, but, in reality, it's got all the food groups. You have your carbs from the bread, protein from the cheese and bacon, and then you got the other stuff from almonds and cheese. How could you go wrong?

     You can't, and that is exactly why Anthony and I bought this as our dinner. It's amazing how you can still have a great time when you just talk to your friend over some fancy cheese from Walmart. We talked for a very long time about what all of us are doing, and when I say all of us, I don't mean just him and I. I meant the core friend group that we made. The 'Bros of Farmington' if you will (don't copy that, that's mine COPYRIGHT). We talked about how we all went to some different places and are all doing different things now. How its sad we aren't all together, but its so awesome that we are all friends and are around different areas. Our group of friends can branch out and go anywhere they want. It's like an elementary class trip to the museum and the kids scatter to touch whatever they can.

     My friend Luke is in the army corp. at the University of A&M in Texas. He's balancing his studies with his army corp. studies, the guy is a savage. Sam is down in Minnesota studying biology. A little addicted to partying, but still acing his classes like nobody's business. Zack is in a band, and he's on Spotify and Pandora. This guy is a rockstar! Brendan is in the prestigious school of music: Berklee in Boston. Someday you're going to see Brendan's name in the spot were John William's name is supposed to be. Anthony lives on a boat because he goes to MMA. He knows how to fix his bed so well that you could bounce a dime off of it. Dan, my best friend on this rocky earth, is in a different world even though he's my roommate. Homework and joking around is basically all we do because why the hell not, we're in college. The lovely Michaela is in France and killing it in the friendship department. Truly an amazing feat to be so enticing to others. Then there's me who is just trying to survive the grind that kinesiology majors have to deal with. Just a bunch of kids who still use razor scooters. I couldn't have asked for better friends.

     I guess I'm just feeling a little nostalgic today, but I miss my friends. Don't get me wrong, I don't miss high school a single bit. The nostalgia comes from being able to see everyone every day. Getting to walk around the halls like you own the place, that's what I miss. We would goof around everyday and made life the most enjoyable thing we could. I love that we can just come back to our home ground, Farmington, and be able to get back into those habits. All we need is a dollar's worth of bread and some fancy cheese.

I've Got A Friend In You

     Standing there in a row of chairs, singing Come Thou Fount was just what I needed yesterday. We have been deciding what church we want to go to because there are some pros and cons for each, and we weren't really sure about the music at the church we decided to go to. Though the music was amazing. They played the perfect mix of hymns and contemporary songs. I felt like God was talking to me that day. Making me realize that I haven't given him the attention that I should be giving him. 

     Easter: a time for us to celebrate Jesus rising from the dead. A time when we can all get together and exalt our many feelings for the Lord. I remember when I first started actually believing in Christ. There was just something missing in my life. I was constantly trying to fill that hole with things that could never even get close to filling. I remember thinking that there has to be a way to fill that, just something more to life than what I was doing. So one night I just laid on my bed thinking alright, let's try this out.

     Josh and I talked for 13 miles. We always have great conversation when we run together, whether we joke around or we talk about our lives, its always a great time. I've been friends with him for three years and he still continues to surprise me. He didn't used to be a christian, he was actually the opposite. I've been able to see this man find his own path while I watched my walk with christ deteriorate, and now we are on the same path as friends. This is the Josh that I want to be friends with. He's such an inspiration to me and should be to others. We ran for an hour and twenty four minutes and just had the most real talk that, I think, we've ever had. He's a person I can be honest with and a person who shares my beliefs and feelings.

     I feel like ever since Josh became a christian, we've gotten closer in our friendship. Which is so nice because being a christian in Maine can be hard. There aren't many of us in this beautiful state. We were talking about that and how FCA is so refreshing to be able to share and fellowship with others. This is something you see at Easter: the families who only go to church twice a year (Christmas Eve and Easter). The usual easy-to-find seats were jam packed with new people. The pastor made a comment about it and mentioned that they are always welcome. Easter brings us all together, and with everything that is going on in this beautiful, but destructive, world, we need each other.

L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N.

     It's been not even a week back from break and we are already bombarded with homework. I am constantly nose deep inside my textbooks, but right now I can't help not enjoying myself. Studying with friends eases the pain by like 10%. I'm glad to be back. When we were on our way to school, I definitely didn't feel that way. Life is confusing like that. We fear what we think, and I thought that going back to school would be equivalent to jumping in a vat of acid. Though, I'm enjoying myself; whilst studying (WHAT IS THIS).

     Another thing on my mind isn't as cheerful. A person very important to me is across the many waves of the Atlantic. I miss her and want her to come back to the beautiful states of freedom. I just find myself wanting a hug from her. Nothing can compare to seeing her in person. Not skype not text not calling. There's really no substitute to our dynamic, I almost feel incomplete. Like there's something that I'm missing in the morning, but I think its just me missing her. Although I feel this way, and want everything to change, there's nothing I can do because I don't control the world. I just have to trudge along for another 3 weeks and stay patient. You know life's just confusing that way. It's okay though because

Let

It

Feel

Ecstatic

Go
On
Elevated
Stairs

Only
Nodding

     As the famous Dory said, "just keep swimming." It's so hard to not get caught up in the curveballs that life throws at you. I like the song that Noah and the Whale preforms because it just about going with the flow of things. It's something that I think they share with The Head and the Heart. The Head and the Heart have a song called Let's Be Still. The world just spins a little too fast and I wish that it was easier to keep up with everything, but it's not. We try so hard to move fast and get things done as quick as possible, but there's a big difference between quality and quantity. I wish that this new quick society wasn't 'practical'. It makes me want to jump off the grid and live in the forest.

     Seriously, I could do this, I just need to study the movie Into the Wild as much as I can because that guy was a genius.

TRANSCENDENTALISM

Dear America

America the beautiful

America the great

Something I love

Something I hate

Why don't we just sit down and relax

Instead of acting like everything is a fight

No one in this country has all the facts

Everyone in this country has all the might

Cruz wants more war and less diversity

Kasich thinks very highly of himself

Trump thinks very highly of his penis

Hillary is a liar and massive feminist

Bernie believes in barely not communism

Together is the only way to live

Together is the only way to lead

Apart we can never give

Apart we we can never feed

Something I hoped

Something I dreamed

America the doped

America the deemed

I'm Doing Laundry Right Now

Living in the dorms has many setbacks. One of those is having to spend money to do laundry, with having sweaty running clothes to make it even worse.  So every time I come home, I cherish and overuse my parents' washer and dryer. Today, I'm doing it for the last time before I go back to college. The way I do laundry seems a little unorthodox to others, but it has worked and I haven't had a problem yet. I THROW EVERYTHING IN AT THE SAME TIME. Yes, colors and whites and blacks galore. It's basically the chef's special at some crappy restaurant: the cook threw all the left over stuff into the batch. 

     I saw Zootopia with my sisters last night (side note: the movie theatre in Augusta is so fancy). It was a really good movie, and I would definitely suggest it as a fun family movie. It had talking animals and funny moments. Everything you would expect out of a Disney movie, though, there was a little more to it than that. Other than the interesting, and frankly very obvious, Breaking Bad reference, the movie was all about diversity. I'm not trying to look into it more than I should, although that is something I do frequently... The movie had a nice message of accepting others even though they were different. We see a rabbit befriending the epitome of a barnyard predator: the sly and cunning fox. This is possible because the live in Zootopia, a city where predators and prey live with one another.

     I'm only going to say things that are in the trailer, but the plot of the story is that some predators are resorting back to their savage ways and going crazy, which is pretty controversial since not all predators are going savage, but ONLY predators are changing. Let's look at this as if it were real life. Say America is only 10% immigrants, and 20 of those people become serial killers. Though only immigrants have become serial killers, everyone else in America are safe, average joes that are scared of being killed. What would happen to the country? Some people would turn on each other and life would become fragile from the thin line of aggressive tension, because diversity is uncomfortable for some people.

     Using history as an example, people everywhere in the world have tried and failed to "correct" diversity. Thankfully, in this day and age, we can live in a somewhat peaceful world. I mean, I can't really talk, I'm a caucasian asian, with only a quarter of minority in me. Based on what horrifying past we have, we've been making progress. Obviously, there will always be people who think they're part of the master race. They, in my opinion, are wrong. We were all created and loved by God, no matter what race, religion, or gender we are.

You hear of all the problems that can come from doing laundry. You see TV shows where rich, spoiled brats do their own laundry for the first time in their lives and everything comes out pink. You feel the warmth of clothes on the skin after they were dried. You taste the moisture vapor that rushes out of the washer when you open it's door. You smell the sweet and comforting scent of detergent. The five senses of laundry, you can get them however way you do laundry. For me? I just put it all in there. Yes, I know that you can turn your whites into colors and your colors into lighter colors, BUT it's efficient and it saves me some money. Together is just more beneficial.

Take A Deep Breath

     I just read a very boring chapter in my anatomy book about the "special senses." One of these senses is olfaction, or smell. When you smell, odorants dissolve in your mucus and are transported to your brain. So actual molecules from the object go into your body, just think of that the next time you go inside a public bathroom. These molecules go into your limbic system, which controls your emotions, so naturally you'll feel hungry when you smell delicious food, or disgusted when you smell something gross.

     A couple nights ago, I went to a friend's house because we are both on spring break and haven't seen each other in an amount of time that just seems too long. I walked into his house that just smelled so clean. They're showing their house for sale, so it needs to be in tip-top shape. It was that smell that's kind of similar to new shoes or a new car. I immediately started to feel welcomed. We started out like all young, free men do: playing some video games, until Anthony got a text from one of our UMF friends. She wanted to see us and hang out, so we left. We went out to the car, and headed to downtown Farmington. As soon as I got out of the car, I got a big whiff of the old town. It smelled of old buildings and nature, but not the gross, sweaty nature. It was that sweet smell that you get if you go into Maine from a big-city state. It made me really feel like I was going to slap on some kinvaras and go for a run. Anthony and I walked to her dorm and she let us in. Instantly, I was attacked with the smell of moth balls. I don't think the dorms at UMF have been redone since they were first made. We walked up the stairs and into her dorm, which was like walking through the make-up section of a mall. There were three girls in total and I think they might've used enough perfume for four.

     We talked for a while, and I couldn't tell if Anthony was feeling it, but it was a little uncomfortable for me. These college girls were very noticeably intoxicated from the various alcohols on their desk, except for one girl who is allergic to ethanol. They wanted to go out to this apartment that was probably filed to the brim with alter-minded college kids. First, though, we had to pick up some other people. We walked to this guy's house on a nearby street. As I walked in, I just got the biggest feeling of awkwardness mixed with nervousness because this place reeked of cigarettes. We were there for a total of three seconds and left for the apartment.

     The apartment complex door opened with the rush of townies trying to get in. Walking up those stained-carpeted stairs, I wanted to leave. Anthony and I kept exchanging "lets run away now" looks, but never acted upon those glares. Once we were at the top, I got the instant smell of just pure dirty, disgusting, unwashed ass. We walked through the hallway that was riddled with red solo cups and brown stains until we got into an individual's home. It smelled of beer. Beer and sweat were the only things you could smell in this whole apartment. We stood in the same corner for about two hours just taking everything in and messing with the drunkards, but then another law was broken in that apartment. A sudden odor of weed came over the room and we were taken under a cloud of smoke. I felt so out of place. Thankfully, we decided to leave at that point. Rushing through the crowd and down the moldy stairs, we couldn't get out of there quicker. The door to freedom swung open and the cold outside air filled my lungs. I felt safe. Safe from the disturbing cloud that seems to always surround Farmington. We walked back and drove home. When I got to my house, I walked up the stairs and dropped into my bed. One day of spring break done, and my pillow smelled like sweet dreams.

We Laugh Indoors

Marcus Lech: winner of the Millrose Games, 1:46 800m, and 4:00 mile. A legend and my coach.

     A bizarre man of many, Mark loves that we fear him. Our fearless leader has only two emotions: laughter and anger. Yesterday, I took a deep breath and walked into his office to talk to him about running. I walked in expecting him to not let me run the 1500m in outdoor and walked out as a 1500m runner. This was probably one of the best five minutes of my life.

     Its times like these that make me feel on top of the world. I walked out of his office with a big grin on my face to give my friends who were waiting an answer. Mark was gracious, and I don't know if this was also from killing the anatomy exam, but I am feeling good. After feeling like a total useless sack of bean bag pebbles just 24 hours beforehand. Does that make me bipolar? NO it doesn't. 

     I just don't get what the premises for being happy have to be. Why're we only happy when God is overly generous to us? Our biggest flaw is our ungratefulness, and it shows. I am a great example. I am so peeved at God when I don't do well in races after hours upon hours of training, while he is focusing on other parts of my life. I have a beautiful family, wonderful friends, and a very privileged life, so why am I always so angry at God?

     Maybe it's because deep down I know that I'm not doing my part in our relationship. Maybe I know, truly, that I don't give God the attention he deserves. What is there to do about this though? Nothing but pray. I hope that people in my similar situation can just sit down and focus on the Lord. That's exactly what everyone needs. Are you angry and unhappy? Go to God. Are you depressed and want to punch someone? Go to God. Are you happy and don't think anything in your life could go any more right? Still, go to God. In the book I'm reading, a man becomes a serial killer because he lost his sister. He becomes this monster because he is angry at God and wants to take his place and "play God" as the authority of life and death. Poor guy was fixated on hating God when he should've been asking for guidance.